


Argus Filch and the Marauders

by SocialParanoia



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Gen, How Do I Tag, I Tried, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'm Sorry, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-24
Updated: 2019-04-24
Packaged: 2020-01-25 21:21:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18582811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SocialParanoia/pseuds/SocialParanoia
Summary: Argus Filch hates students.





	Argus Filch and the Marauders

Argus Filch hated students.

All they did was spread filth and scum.

Dumbledore had yet again denied his list of '368 Ways To Discipline A Student', to which he had recently added four more courses of action.

Oh how they got on his nerves, thought Filch as he furiously scrubbed at a stain on a tapestry, those revolting, dimwitted-

_"C'mon, be fast now or that caretaker Ditch'll catch us."_

_"I'm pretty sure his name is Filch, James"_

_"Can we go back to the dorm, please? I..I don't wanna spend the first week in detention."_

_"You're all amateurs at this, let me go ahead I'll show you how it's done."_

"STUDENTS OUT OF BED!", shouted Filch, his whole face turning a deep shade of red, "Follow me. NOW! This is my chance. I'll make sure that you lot are punished," he said as he dragged a stunned looking James Potter with him, his three friends in tow.

Filch led them to Professor Mcgonagall's office, "Stay here," he said, "If you move even an inch I swear I'll rip your toenails off with my bare hands." He looked pleased to finally be able to see some punishment. He left to summon Professor Mcgonagall from her quarters muttering about 'hanging from their ankles' and 'starving for a day'.

"We're done for! He's gone to get Mcgonagall. If it were Dumbledore then we could've had at least some chance of being spared. Mcgonagall's almost as stern as my mum," said Sirius nervously.

"What've we gotten ourselves into," said James, "If only dad had given me his cloak before my birthday..."

"I..Is she g..going to ex..expell us? I d-don't want to be expelled! This is all y-your fault. Why couldn't you have stayed in bed?" Peter looked like he was about to faint.

"Stuff it, Peter. Nobody asked you to come with us. You were the who followed after James like a lovesick puppy."

"Stop it, you," snapped Remus done with the others bickering, "Don't be stupid. Nobody's going to get expelled if you do as I say," he said as he further explained his plan to his friends.

James and Sirius stared in awe at their friend who had become pale as a ghost and yet was able to keep a calm front.

* * *

"Here, Professor. I locked the door so they wouldn't escape," said Filch as he led Professor Mcgonagall to her office.

Professor Mcgonagall, vexed by being aroused from her beauty sleep chose not to remind Mr. Filch about the various unlocking spells that even first years could perform.

Though when they did reach the office the lock on the door was still there.

"Please Professor allow me to-", Filch stared wide-eyed at the empty room, "WHERE DID THEY GO? I SWEAR I HAD THEM RIGHT HERE PROFESSOR! THOSE TRICKY NITGRITS-"

"Mr. Filch are you trying to wake the whole castle? Please keep your voice down!"

"But Professor I had them! I caught them sneaking off towards the kitchen while I was cleaning I-"

"The door was locked from the outside Mr. Filch."

"But they...but I...Ah! They must have unlocked the door with a spell then locked it again from the outside and ran away. That's it. That's twice the punishment for running away!"

"I think you're not sleeping properly, Argus. All this cleaning at night is getting to your head. Go get a good night's sleep, you'll feel better," said Professor Mcgonagall as she patted Filch's arm and turned around to head back to her rooms leaving behind her an enraged and disbelieving caretaker.

That morning in the Great Hall Filch saw four sleepy yet cheerful boys munching down on their breakfast and talking amongst themselves.

I'll have you one day, he thought to himself as he glared at the Gryffindor table disgruntled.

Oh how Argus Filch hated students.


End file.
